Love is a big deal. Humans are wired with a natural craving to love and be loved, whether it’s romantic, familial, or friendly love. Love is at the very heart and core of human life, and I don’t think many would disagree.
But in our society, a flood of disagreement rises over the answer to the question “what is love?” If you went down College Ave. today and polled 100 people “what is love?” you’d probably get about 100 different answers. “Love is the most powerful emotion people can have.” “Love is that warm fuzzy feeling you have for a special person. “Love is accepting and approving of others, no matter what.” “Love is whatever makes you feel the best and most fulfilled.” “Love is worthless.” “Love is everything.”
All people long for love, but society offers a billion different opinions on what love is. So how can we know what love is, and where to find it? Practically, What Does Love Look Like? God’s Word will paint a picture of real love for us today.
1 Corinthians 13, often referred to as the “Love Chapter” of the Bible, is frequently read at weddings. Maybe it was at yours! So why focus on a common wedding text for confirmation weekend? The love Paul describes is certainly the kind of love God wants reflected in marriage, but really, Paul’s talking about the love Christians will show not just to spouse, family, or friends, but to everyone.
That’s why Paul, inspired by the Holy Spirit, included this love chapter in his letter to the Corinthians; this fledgling Christian church, still growing in spiritual maturity, was struggling to put Christian love into practice. People were self-absorbed as they took each other to court over trivial matters; as they used their spiritual gifts from God for self-promotion, rather than the good of others; as some gorged themselves while others went hungry; as the church split into cliques and factions instead of a congregation united by love. As they fell into sexual immorality, which was accepted and even encouraged in their Corinthian society, they showed their confusion about what love was. And so Paul needed to show them what love looks like—not according to society’s opinion, but according to God!
First, Paul tells us that love is a necessary part of everything we do as Christians. “If I speak in tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
This is a pretty impressive list of hypothetical people, right? A tongues speaker who can even speak “angel”! A spiritual genius who possesses a full understanding of all the mysteries of God! A philanthropist who gives everything to the poor and dies as a martyr for Christ!
That’s the kind of people we should strive to be, right? Not necessarily. The key phrase is “but have not love.” If the tongues speaker uses his gift for self-promotion instead of love, then his spiritual gift just becomes meaningless noise! If the person with the full spiritual understanding doesn’t share his knowledge with his neighbor, he’s not a genius, he’s a fool. If the philanthropist isn’t motivated by love, he’s selfish, not generous.
So if I preach a dynamite sermon, but preach it because I love myself, not because I love you, I might as well be up here crashing cymbals. If you’re in Bible class twice a week, can recite Bible passages and Luther’s Catechism by heart, but don’t care enough about your neighbor’s soul to share your faith, you’re a fool. If Mount Olive gathers an offering to send to Zambia or the Philippines, but we do to show off our wealth, not to show love for those people, then we are spiritually broke, not rich.
If our words and actions aren’t motivated by and connected to love, then it’s like we’re doing nothing. And that changes all of our vocations in life, doesn’t it? As a spouse; as parents or grandparents; as children or students; as bosses or employees; as friends or complete strangers—if our actions in any of those vocations aren’t motivated by love for others, then they actions we’re so proud of become meaningless. So often, we think being a Christian just means following the rules, and being somewhat easy to get along with. But it’s so much more than going through the motions! Love for one another needs to be an active pursuit in everything we do! As Jesus told his disciples, that love for neighbor is part of what identifies us as his people. “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
So, love is a necessary part of our Christian lives. But the question still remains, “What does that love look like?” Paul answers by giving us a 4 verse “love checklist” in which God defines what love is, and what it isn’t.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self- seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
As these words are read at a wedding, the couple stares into each other’s eyes, confident that their love will always be a 1 Corinthians 13 love. But with the first argument, reality hits. For us too! When we compare our love for others to this list, it becomes painfully obvious this is law, not gospel.
Let’s try it. If you’ve kept that characteristic of love in each of your vocations, then check it off the list. If not, leave it blank. Love is patient…well, I definitely wasn’t patient with my kids yesterday; love is kind…wasn’t kind to that waitress when she screwed up our order; love doesn’t envy…I have been feeling jealous of my sister who has a job; love doesn’t boast, isn’t proud…I have been talking up my promotion a lot. Love isn’t rude…well, that annoying classmate of mine wouldn’t leave me alone; love is not self-seeking…I know my wife needed help with the groceries the other day, but the game was on! You get the picture right? None of these boxes are checked. Every day leaves us staring back at a blank, unchecked page.
My wife and I have some wall art with these verses on them hanging next to the sink in our bathroom. As I brush my teeth at night and recap my day, I’m reminded how many ways I failed to live in love—failure to show love to my wife, my daughter, my associates, my church, my family, and the list goes on. And I’m sure you can track your failures too. Because the love God describes here requires self-sacrifice. And as much as love should be at the core of our Christian lives, selfishness consumes the core of our sinful nature. We’d much rather be self-centered than self-sacrificing! And so we can’t perfectly love as God wants us to.
So, is it hopeless? We have to admit we often “have not love.” Our love fails all the time. And certainly we’ve all felt the sting of love that’s failed us: broken hearts from broken marriages, from fractured families, from lies and lust we thought were love. So how can Paul say, “Love never fails”? Because we’re not hopeless. Because the message of this text is not “you fail.” The message is “Love never fails.”
Our love fails, but God’s love for us never fails. Jesus’ command to his disciples to “love one another,” is preceded by the most important reminder. Jesus said, “As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”
Jesus’ love was and is perfect! All of these characteristics that define true love describe Jesus! His “love checklist” is perfectly completed. He lived perfectly in love to us, always putting the world first with a self- sacrificing love; and he lived perfectly in love for us as our perfect substitute, so that his love for us truly “keeps no record of wrongs.”
Can you even imagine that? Even in the best relationship you’ve ever had, that person has failed to always love you perfectly. But Jesus love NEVER fails, and he remembers your failures no more. People crave love so desperately that they search in all the wrong places. Look no further, for perfect love is found and fulfilled in Christ!
That’s why we take Jesus command to “love one another” to heart. Our motivation to show that kind of self- sacrificing love is not because we have to, or to earn something. That’s not love. No, “We love because (Christ) first loved us.”
Only by believing in Jesus’ perfect, self-sacrificing love can we be motivated to love others above ourselves. That’s why we need to continue coming to church, for continuous reminders of that amazing love. Worship is God’s “I love you” message, as we also encourage each other in faith and love. Don’t take your eyes off Christ’s love!
Self-sacrificing love doesn’t come naturally, so we need to work at it. Compare your love with the love Paul describes, so you can spot your weaknesses. Ask your spouse and family how you can better show love to them, and then listen. Focus on others’ needs before your own. Confess your failures to God, and pray that he strengthen you to live with a self-sacrificing love. Don’t just go through the motions. Remember what true love looks like.
Love is not a warm fuzzy feeling, or whatever best fulfills you. That’s self-seeking, not sacrificing. Love is not accepting or approving no matter what, because love “does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth.” What is love? “This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.”
God loved you before time began. God continues to love you your whole life. And God’s love for you will remain for eternity in Heaven, where our love for God, and our love for one another will finally be perfect. What does love look like? It looks like Jesus. So keep your eyes on him! Amen.